Managing Grief: A Letter to my Dad

Dear Dad,

I still think about you every day. I know time is supposed to heal all wounds, but it still hurts just as much. The ache lingers, and some days are worse than others. Today was one of those days.

We took the kids out for ice cream this evening, and it was the kind of perfect weather you loved—clear skies, a warm breeze. The kids were laughing, chasing each other around, and for a moment, everything felt like it should have been.

But then, out of nowhere, the thought hit me like a wave. I could see you there with us, sitting on that bench, the sun catching your smile as you played with the kids.

You would’ve loved every minute of it. You would’ve ordered the biggest ice cream, making a mess, and laughed it off like it was no big deal. I could hear your laugh in my head, and in that instant, I missed you more than I thought possible.

These moments sneak up on me. I can go days, even weeks, without feeling the full weight of it. But then a moment like this reminds me of how much you’re missing. And how much I’m missing you.

I wish you could have been there, not just in spirit but in person, making memories with your grandkids.

I wonder if this pain will ever truly fade. They say grief comes in waves, but no one ever tells you how hard the waves crash or how unexpected they are. Just when you think you’re managing, a memory pulls you under.

Grief has a way of sneaking into our lives in the quietest of moments. As a physician, I’ve learned that loss is a shared human experience, and yet, it’s one of the most isolating feelings we endure. When you lose someone, especially a parent, you feel as though a part of your identity has been taken away. For me, losing my father wasn’t just about losing someone I loved—it was losing the person who shaped so much of who I am today.

Supporting Others Through Grief

When you’re grieving, people often don’t know what to say or do. But there are a few things I’ve learned about how we can help others navigate this painful journey:

Presence Over Words
Sometimes, there are no words that can heal the pain of loss. What people need most is your presence. Just being there, even if it’s in silence, can speak volumes. Whether it’s a phone call, a text, or sitting with them in their grief, let them know you’re there.
Small Acts of Kindness
Grief can make even the simplest tasks feel monumental. Offering to take care of everyday needs—bringing a meal, running errands, or helping with children—can provide much-needed relief. These small acts show that you’re thinking of them and willing to share the weight of their burden.
Create Space for Memories
Encourage conversations about their loved one. Sometimes people shy away from mentioning the person who has passed, thinking it will upset the grieving person. But often, what we want most is to talk about them. Sharing stories, laughing at fond memories, or even crying together can be cathartic.
Check In Regularly
Grief doesn’t have a timeline. Many people receive an outpouring of support in the days immediately following a loss, but that support tends to dwindle as time goes on. Continuing to check in weeks or months after the funeral, especially on anniversaries or significant dates, can remind them that they aren’t alone.
Let Them Feel
Grief is messy and unpredictable. It’s important to give people the space to feel however they need to feel—whether it’s sadness, anger, guilt, or even laughter. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and supporting someone means allowing them to go through their emotions without judgment.

My Own Journey

For me, moving forward hasn’t meant leaving the pain behind. It’s learning to carry it differently. Losing my father has changed me in ways I never imagined. Some days, I feel the pain more acutely than others.

But I’ve also learned that grief is a sign of the love that remains. My father’s absence is felt in the small, everyday moments, like an ice cream outing with my kids. And while that ache may never go away, I’ve come to realize it’s because he’s still a part of me.

If you’re reading this because you’re going through your own loss or you’re supporting someone who is, I hope you find comfort in knowing that grief, though painful, is not something we have to endure alone.

A Special Note From the Doctor:

“Grief has its own timeline and a depth that words can’t always reach. As we navigate the loss of those we love, let’s honor their memory by allowing ourselves to heal in our own time. Embrace each memory, and know that finding peace is part of keeping them close.”

Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of content found on this blog.

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or emergency services immediately. Reliance on any information provided by this blog is solely at your own risk. The author(s) of this blog do not assume any liability for the information contained herein, be it direct, indirect, consequential, special, exemplary, or other damages.

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